Im-Pop-Star/Transcript
Shiny Shades, exterior (Episode title appears as a sign in a star frame on a building. The Greens are outside the store window gathered round.) Bill: Nothing like an excitin' day of window shoppin', huh kids? Tilly: It's like goin' to a zoo for material goods. Cricket: Let's go inside! Interior Cricket: Whoaaaaaa! Nancy: (takes a pair of green framed sunglasses) Think you can handle these looks, Alice? Gramma: Oh no. (puts them on top of her own) Can they handle me? Cricket: Hey, Dad! Look at these bad boys! (wearing futuristic-looking sunglasses; robot voice) I am from the future. (normal) Can we buy 'em? Bill: No, Cricket. We can't afford this stuff. We're just lookin'. Now come on, let's see what's next door. (He and Tilly exit) Cricket: Man, why are we wastin' our time here if we can't have any of this stuff? Nancy: Sometimes pretending can be just as nice as having, kiddo. Cricket: It ain't nice! It stinks! (Suddenly, three kids nearby gather round him, chattering.) Red girl: Oh my gosh, it's him! Can I please get your autograph? Cricket: Uh...yeah, I guess. (Signs his autograph in her notepad) Here ya go. (It is a picture of his own body superimposed on that of a spider's with fangs, with his name underneath.) Red girl: Thankyouthankyouthankyou!! (The kids exit, cheering.) Cricket: What the heck was that about? Nancy: Maybe it has something to do with that. (Channel 11 News is on the TV; Maria Media is reporting.) Maria: I'm Maria Media, and this is Channel 11 News. We've just received word that international pop superstar Zillon Brax has gone missing. (Shows footage of a celebrity singer who bears an uncanny resemblance to Cricket.) Maria (VO): Zillon rocketed to fame when his hit single "Baby, I Could Buy Your Dad" went platinum in a record twelve seconds. Cricket: Oh, my gosh. He looks like a prettier me. Maria: Zillon was last seen earlier today at a press conference, where he delivered some shocking news. (Footage of Zillon's press conference.) Zillon: I've called you all here to tell you: I'm sick of fame and having everything given' to me! I just wanna -- ♫ Liiive a normal liiiife! ♫ Ugh... (leaves) Maria: We will not be resuming our normal programming until this national treasure is found... (starts tearing up) Cricket: That is so weird. Cashier (OS): Oh my goodness! (cut to him) Zillon, in my store?! Please, keep the sunglasses you have on. We would be honored if Zillon Brax wore our merchandise! Cricket: So, let me get this straight. I can keepsies these for freesies because you think I'm Zillon Braxies? Cashier: Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm!!! Cricket: With this pop star fella out of the picture, his life of fame and fortune could be mine! Nancy: Whoa! Whoa, whoa there, Cricket. Ours -- could be ours. Don't you dare leave your mama outta this! (They giggle mischievously.) Lux Brella, interior Bill: A store dedicated to luxary umbrellas! Gramma: Seems unnecessary. Bill: Oh, it is! (Zoom to the umbrella rack they passed; Zillon is hiding inside it.) Zillon: ♫ Woe is me, why am I so famous? ♫ (sighs and takes off his sunglasses) If only there was a way I could walk amongst the ordinaries. Bill (OS): What do you think of this one, sweetie? (He parts the umbrellas and sees Bill and Tilly.) Zillon: What a normal family. So simple, so pure, so ♫ reeeeeaaaaaal...ah! ♫ Bill: Fancy umbrellas sure are somethin'. Now where's Cricket? (sees Zillon) Oh! There you are, Cricket. You comin' home or what, son? Zillon: Me? Your son? This is my chance to live a normal life? No agents? No managers? No paparazzi? Yes, Dad! ♫ I'm comin' ho-oooooooome...ah! ♫ Hudkins Department Store, fitting room (Cricket is in one of the stalls.) Cricket: With these new clothes, I'll be the spittin' image of Zillon Brax! Nancy: (dressed like a luxurious manager) And I'll be your manager. Cricket (OS): All set! (He comes out of his stall wearing pop star clothes and has his hair gelled and swept to the side in the manner of Zillon's.) Cricket: Well? How do I look? Nancy: Like a pop superstar. Cricket: A-bingo, a-bango. (He double claps on the end of this, which summons a businessman over.) Businessman: You called, Zillon? Cricket: I, Zillon Brax, have decided I want these clothes. Now, I don't need to, uh...pay for these, right? Businessman: Are you kidding? There's not a store in Big City that would make Zillon Brax pay for anything! Nancy: Whaddya say we put that to the test? Big City, various (Montage: Nancy carries Cricket up to the host of a fancy restaurant, who is flattered by him; inside, the waiters feed he and Nancy shrimp. In a phone store, they talk on their new smartphones, but the batteries due, so they throw them over their shoulders and get new ones from the store workers. In an auto parts, the owner shows them different types of luxurious automobiles; he first shows a white SUV, but they reject it. Then a limo SUV which they also reject. He thinks, then has an idea; shows Cricket and Nancy riding a tank made of gold and cheering happily.) '''Cricket:' Whoooo-hoo!!! (He presses a button that reads "Cash Burner"; the tank suddenly rises off the ground and flies.) Cricket: YEAH! Cricket, Nancy: BEIN' FAMOUS RULES! Green's house, various (Zillon is inside, petting Phoenix.) Zillon: ♫ Livin' a simple li-ife with my new family-y! ♫ There's so much to learn! You must be Grandfather... Gramma (OS): Hey Cricket, c'mere! (He goes to Gramma on the couch.) Gramma: Pass me the remote, wouldja? Zillon: (gives her the remote, dances) ♫ Bonding with Grandmother like a normal boyyyyy...ah! ♫ Gramma: Yeah, thanks, Cricket. (In the kids' room, Tilly is brushing Saxon.) Tilly: (humming) Zillon: Hey, sister! What is this simple task that you are performing? Tilly: Oh, I'm just brushing Saxon's fibers. Zillon: Ha-ha, I love the sibling banter! It's what I've always ♫ dreamed of in my dre-eams! ♫ (He leaves; Tilly is suspicious. Now he sees Bill in the kitchen.) Zillon: Hey, Dad man! Anything I could do to help out around the house? Bill: (chuckles) Well, gosh, Cricket. It's great to see ya take some initiative. Eh, you could...start with takin' out the trash. That'll be a big help. (He sees the trash can is filled to the top.) Zillon: Take out the trash? Sure! I can do that! (struggles to remove the trash bag) Look at me, livin' the simple life! (The removal is so rough that some of the trash spills out and he kicks the trash can.) Zillon: Now where do I...ah! (sees the fridge) The trash box! Get in there, you! (struggles to stuff the bag inside) ♫ I love my new li-iiiiife...ah! ♫ (He doesn't see a suspicious Tilly spying on him.) Tilly: Somethin' seems off about Cricket. (as Saxon) "Better keep an eye on him!" (normal) Good thinkin', Saxon. Jewels for Cools!, exterior Jeweler (OS): Enjoy your free jewelry, Zillon! (Cricket and Nancy exit the store wearing loads of jewelry and a big crown for Cricket.) Cricket: Oh-ho man, bein' famous is the best! Nancy: Yeah, it's been fun, but maybe we should call it a day. Cricket: What?! Are you kiddin' me?! I'm always gonna be ZILLON BRAX! (His shouting suddenly attracts several fans.) Red girl: Zillon Brax? Car passengers: Zillon Brax?! Pink kids: ZILLON BRAX?! Cricket: What the heck?! (They start plowing him to the ground.) Nancy: CRICKET! (The fans are tugging on him and stealing his jewels.) Nancy: COME ON! (She pulls him away and they run up to an allyway.) Nancy: Quick, run in here! I'll hold 'em off. (the fans cling to her) Hurry, Cricket! The pre-growth spurt teens are slippin' through!! (Three kids squeeze right past her.) Cricket: Oh man, what do I do?!? (A door opens and an arm pulls him inside as the fans run right past.) Unknown room (It is dark; Cricket is standing next to a strange girl.) Mysterious girl: They're gone, don't worry. Cricket: Where are we? Mysterious girl: Somewhere safe. (She turns on the lights revealing herself to be a pale redhead with a psychotic demeanor.) Mysterious girl You can hide out in here until all those fans go away! (Pulls back to reveal various beheaded mannequins) Cricket: What's with all the mannequins? Mysterious girl: (locks the door) Ohh, I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time!!! Cricket: What are you -- (looks over) OH MY GRAVY, WHAT IS THAT?! (Shows a picture of Zillon in a heart-shaped frame on top of a pile of various mannequin heads with lit candles on them.) Mysterious girl: Welcome home, Zillon Brax! Cricket: AAAGH! Green's house, living room (The Greens are playing what appears to be Scrabble; Gramma plays a nonexistent word.) Gramma: There! Grsnarft! Bill: Hey, that's not a word! Gramma: Fight me! Bill: Oh, I will. (puts on glasses and gets a dictionary) Zillon: Nice one...Grandmother. Tilly: (thinking) Hmm...what's goin' on with Cricket? (as Saxon) "Perhaps a small test is in order!" (to Zillon) Hey, Cricket? Remind me: what's your favorite cheese? Zillon: I like the yellow cheese, from the moo cows. Tilly: Uh-huh. And remind me again, when is your birthday? Zillon: ♫ The day I was born, of course! ♫ Tilly: BLAST! (as Saxon) "He got ya there!" Bill: (reading dictionary) "Gr-snaab", "Gr-snarp"...sorry, Ma. But "Grsnarft is just not a word. Gramma: Well, keep lookin'! Tilly: We need somethin' more tellin'. (to Zillon) Hey, Cricket? What do you think of this word? (She plays the word "Toot".) Zillon: Uh...I think... ♫ That's a goooooood play, sister! ♫ Tilly: (gasps in shock) He didn't laugh at the word "Toot"! (as Saxon) "And he has the voice of an angel!" (normal) You're not my brother! Zillon: No, it's me, Crocket! Tilly: Papa, are you hearin' this?! Bill: Tilly, don't bother Crocket. Tilly: (grumbles in frustration) Mannequin warehouse, interior Mysterious girl: You silly boy. I'm Amaryllis, your biggest fan! (She shows various bits of trash in her heart locket: a penny, a bit cookie, chewed gum, an open wrapper, a small cracker chunk, a portion of Zillon's hair, trimmed fingernails and a baby tooth.)) Mysterious girl (Amaryllis):'I keep everything you throw away, even your baby teeth. ''(throws locket away) But I don't need any of this garbage! I have you! You don't know how hard we worked to get you here, (to a mannequin) even though SOME people said I couldn't do it! Well, who's laughing now, huh, Janice? Huh?! (She looks back to see Cricket has disappeared.) '''Amaryllis: Zillon? (looks around) Zillon! Where'd you go, my little pop sensation?! ZILLON! Cricket: (hiding behind a box) Oh, this girl is crazy! Like swallow-a-chicken-whole kinda crazy! (He gets out his phone and calls Nancy.) Nancy: Cricket, where are you? Cricket: Mom, you have to come get me! I've been taken by a -- Amaryllis: (pushes Cricket away and takes the phone) There you are, Zillon! Nancy: Cricket?! Amaryllis: Sorry, Zillon can't talk right now. (softly, viciously) Or ever again! Nancy: Who is this?! Where's my son?! Big City, sidewalk Nancy: Oh my gosh, my baby boy's in trouble! I gotta call the police! (Shows Keys is right next to her putting something on a post.) Keys: Oh, whatever for? Nancy: Officer Keys, oh, thank goodness! Cricket's been kidnapped! (Shows he put up a "lost" sign regarding Zillon.) Keys: Oh, sorry, Nancy, but you're on your own. The entire police force is out searching for Zillon Brax. (laughs and shows a Zillon tattoo on his leg) I'm a big fan! Anywho, good luck finding your son! CARTWHEEL! (Cartwheels away) Nancy: Wait, come back!! Mannequin warehouse, interior Amaryllis: (rubbing Cricket in the face) I would've never guessed your face had such a rich baby softness to it, Zillon! Cricket: Hyah! (sits up and pushes her away) You got the wrong guy! (picks up one of the mannequin heads) I was just pretending to be Zillon because uh, well, I look like him! Haha... (looks at the head and throws it down) Guh! Amaryllis: Oh, I KNOW Zillon. And you're Zillon, Zillon! Cricket: My name is Cricket Green, I swear! Amaryllis: Heh, you're such a funny liar, Zillon! But enough small talk... (She goes over to a karaoke machine and takes a mic from it.) Amaryllis: It's time for you to meet your new singing partner! It's me. Cricket: (backing away) No, you're kooky dukes! And I'M GETTIN' OUTTA HERE! (runs for the door) Amaryllis: (advances toward him psychotically) Come on, Zillon! We're gonna sing forever! Cricket: (repeatedly bangs on the door) HELP! YOU GOTTA HELP ME, SOMEBODY! Amaryllis: Now, now, Zillon... (demonically) SAVE YOUR PIPES FOR THE DUET! Green's house, living room Tilly: Papa! Can't you tell that this boy is an impostor?! Bill: Tilly, I think I can tell who's my son and who isn't. Nancy: (rushes up to them) Everyone, quick! Cricket's in trouble, and -- wait. You're... (sees Zillon) You're Zillon Brax! Zillon: What can I say? ♫ It's truuuuuuuue! ♫ Tilly: I knew it! Bill: Huh. I'm puttin' the pieces together...and it is clear now that that is not my boy. Nancy: Bill, Cricket's in trouble. He's been captured by one of Zillon's crazy fan girls! Bill: What?! How'd that happen?! Nancy: Well, uh...we kind of used Cricket and Zillon's uncanny resemblance to get free stuff. Bill: I can't believe it! How could you be so thoughtless?! Nancy: Seriously, Bill? This comin' from the guy who mistook a stranger for his own son? Bill: Touché. Gramma: We can talk about how I'm the only good parent here later! How are we gonna find this girl that took Cricket?! Zillon: He was probably snatched up by Amaryllis. She's always trying to lure me to this creepy, abandoned mannequin warehouse. Bill: Well, what are we waitin' for?! Let's go get our Cricket back! Greens: YEAH! Zillon: ♫ Yeeeeeaaaaaaah-ah! ♫ Mannequin warehouse, interior ("Baby, I Could Buy Your Dad" is playing on the karaoke machine; Amaryllis sings along.) Amaryllis: ♫ Baby, I got money, and life's so rad ♫ ♫ Got enough riches to buy your dad ♫ (hands Cricket the mic) Take it away, partner! Cricket: (weakly) ♫ Buy your dad ♫ Amaryllis: ♫ Forever, and ever, and ever, and everrrrrr! ♫ Cricket: Universe, ya there? I know we don't always get along, but I'm beggin' ya! I've learned my lesson! Maybe my real life doesn't have everything, but...I'd give anything for it now. Amaryllis: ZILLON! (hands him the mic) You have to sing your parts! Cricket: Oh, all right. (weakly) ♫ Ohhhhhh... ♫ (hears a door bang) What?! (The doors burst wide open, revealing the Green family.) Greens: YAH! CRICKET! Cricket: Oh, family! (He happily runs up to them, and they gather for a group hug.) Nancy: No matter what trouble you're in... Bill: We'll always come a-runnin'. Zillon: (joins the hugging) Fam's always got each other's backs. Cricket: (sees Zillon) Uh... (He approaches his doppelganger, both completely surprised and astonished at how identical they are.) Zillon: Oh, whoa. Cricket: So, uh...you must be the real -- Amaryllis: (pushes Cricket away) ZILLON! (sniffs his hair and giggles) Oh, yeah! Now that's the real stuff. Keys: (runs in) Zillon?! We received word you might be here! (He looks down and gasps; he has stepped on one of the mannequin heads that resembles Zillon's head.) Keys: Oh, gosh, I was too late! WHYYYYYYYYY?! Zillon: Hey, Zillon here, still alive. Keys: Zillon! You're not hurt, are ya? Amaryllis: (swivels up behind him) Ohhhh...don't worry, officer! You see, I tried to capture Zillon, but I got the wrong one! Keys: YOU TRIED TO TAKE AWAY MY ZILLON?!?!? (he drags her out) You have to learn that you can't just take a celebrity for yourself. They belong to all of us. Amaryllis: Wait! At least give me a minute with the real Zillon! ZILLOOOON!!!!! Tilly: Say what you want about her, she knows how to decorate. Zillon: You know? Living amongst you simple folk has given me a lot to think about. But I don't like to think! So I'm just gonna go back to bein' rich and famous! (blowing kisses) Mwah, mwah! Peace and love, yo! Also, new album drops October 12th. (exits) Nancy: Huh. You okay, Cricket? Cricket: I've just never been happier to be myself. Now let's go home! Tilly: Wait. Toot. Cricket: (bursts out laughing) Toot! (laughs more) Tilly, how do you come up with this stuff?! (laughs more and more) Tilly: Checks out. Category:Episode Transcript Category:Season 2 Transcripts